Just as Much (Platonic Partners)

I rarely write poems and I tend not to publish those I write, but I’ve published this one recently elsewhere, and I decided to publish it here as well.

It’s important to me to explain what it was written about. When I wrote it, I was thinking about frustrations I experience as an aromantic person who wants a relationship of life partners. On one hand, I want a partner I’ll love as much as romantic partners love each other, and on the other hand, it’s important to me that it will be clear that it isn’t a romantic relationship. It’s important to me that we won‘t use terms like “girlfriend” or “boyfriend”, because they express romantic expectations, which I won‘t meet and don’t want to. I’m open to the option of being with a partner who sees this relationship as a romantic one, but it’s important to me to clarify how I see this relationship, that I don’t feel any need for romantic behaviors (When I see couples, I see types of behavior that I don’t want in my relationships) and that for me, there’s no difference between my partner and my other friends, not in the amount of love and not in my behavior, and while I won‘t be happier with more than one partner than I will be with one, I see no need for exclusivity and I don’t plan on acting towards my partner in a different way than with my other friends.

After I’ve discovered I’m aromantic, I found stories aromantic people told about romantic relationships they have been in. Although they didn’t describe me, and they talked about experiences I haven’t be through, my fears have been realized in them. For example, it was described that their partners were offended because they felt they weren’t different for their partners than their friends and that they felt they weren’t loved (or at least not as loved as they love them).

In addition, this poem was also inspired by the phrase “Just Friends” and as a way to express a platonic love that is as strong as romantic love.

I want it to be clear that aromantic people are diverse, and some of them experience things very differently. Some of them don’t want a life partner at all, some experience romantic attraction rarely or on specific occasions, some don’t experience romantic attraction but still enjoy romance. There’re different orientations on the aromantic spectrum.

 

My friend

My friend

You’re my love

a siblings bond

I love you just as much

 

I have my friends

I love them too

and I love them

I love them just as much

 

Partners for life

is what we are

Not the same as for my friends who are in love

but I love you and them

a love that is as great as much

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